what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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