I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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