ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize