what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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