All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
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