Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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