This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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