just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
