went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize