You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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