You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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