I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
