So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
