I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
