Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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