she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
