I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
