ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
