who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize