So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My liver just had a heart attack.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
