Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
