Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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