in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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