Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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