You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
