i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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