took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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