Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize