Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize