He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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