Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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