what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
