yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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