how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
