don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize