it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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