Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Is her dick bigger than yours?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
