So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
