his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
