even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
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Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
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Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Do you remember whose house we're in?
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