My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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