So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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