OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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