I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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