that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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