Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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