Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
