I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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