And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
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dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
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Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?