we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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