no, he came in my armpit
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.