Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
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Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
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Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.