My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard