I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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