I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
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