Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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