we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
