Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
