My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
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