Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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