I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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