All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize