RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
PANTIES FOUND
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
