Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
why do cheetos always look like penises
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
