I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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