Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
