I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I got inside last night via doggy door
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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