apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
my sisters under your porch take her home
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
