physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
