he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
