just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
